It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. It’s even harder not to internalize that silence as a reflection of your worth. The TRUTH is that the way people act, think, and feel is not about YOU.
Most people are so caught up in their own little dramas, struggles, and anxieties that the thought of exiting their own head to ask others how they are feeling doesn’t even cross their minds.
This doesn’t mean they are bad people or uncaring - they are just too self-absorbed at the moment to think of anything but their own situations to fathom being able to give you what you need.
This doesn’t make you any less valuable or invisible - It just means that these people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world.
The fact that YOU are able - even through the darkness - to share your love and light with others is called strength.
Don’t change who you are - find other people who are able to give you the connection you need.
Despite what you feel, you are not too sensitive - you are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind.
And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment - you are enough.
"In spite of what they say, I’m still not right. Out of body out of mind and out of everyone’s sight. But even through the struggle I still hold tight, leaving the pieces behind makes it easier to feel alive. I need to live, I need to love, not just survive.”
People spend so much time and put in so much effort to be different from one another. No one wants to be a sheep, a conformist, a slave to society. Those who try too hard to be different end up being exactly the same as everyone else - mediocre.
Some of us are just born different. We follow our own rules. We do what we want.
Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, make money, get married, buy a house, get a dog, have kids, grow old, work your life away until you retire - all in that exact order. If you fall off that boat, you better get back on before anyone notices. Do what you’re told, follow the right path, be normal, think like everyone else, make a right turn.
You made a left turn. You go your own way. There is something in you that is different in the most unique and profound way. I see it behind your eyes - a deepness.
You beat adversity and fought your way through personal trials and tribulations. Your perseverance and experiences gave you a soul that shines brightly through a world of darkness. You selflessly dedicated your life’s work to helping others through the struggle.
You care. You motivate. You inspire. You feel. You conquer. You have heart.
Within the past 2 years, I have lost many people that are close to me, both family and friends.
Here I am again in the same position trying to accept that a loved one is most likely going to die. The last of this generation - everyone else is already gone. I often wonder how people think, feel, and react when they are close to death.
Do they question their lives? Wonder if they lived with a purpose? Ask if they were a good mother, sister, grandparent? Made the world just a tiny bit better?
What is it - as humans - that makes us want to change the world in one lifetime? Did we love enough? Did we hate enough? Did we make something of ourselves for our own benefit and for those we love and care about?
I don’t know if I will every be prepared to say goodbye to anyone - I think I have got it right in my head, and that I understand the emotions I will go through - but I never do. It’s always a different scenario, a different feeling, a different recovery.
Moderate believers like to think we will meet our “maker” in heaven and reuinite with our loved ones. But modern science has not physical proof of this - SO DO IT NOW, SAY IT NOW, HELP THIS PERSON get through their last days as a happy person. They know it’s coming, they are more prepared to go than you think. Make it a good memory instead of a sad one.
Loss is such a horrible emotion, is it possible to make it a positive? YES it is, you can look back on this persons life, celebrate them, remember how they helped you grow up, cherish the memories. It is so often that we forget to do this. We just try so hard to move on by ignoring the obvious - we are hurt, someone is no longer there, we may be angry, we may feel guilty for things left unsaid or undone before this person died. We never focus on the good things - the mark this person left on us, and on others. If we focus on that - it is easier to accept the fact that they are in fact gone.
At any second someone can be taken away from this earth, out of our lives - whether there is an afterlife or not - this person can live on in our hearts, in our everyday actions, in our thoughts, and stories of them.
With that said - my grandmother has aggresive cancer that appeared out of nowhere. She is the last grandparent I have. The last of that generation. It’s her decision whether she goes through with treatment or not. I do know that this will be hard, and I am more worried about how I can take care of my mother, and my family than myself. Only time will tell. In the meantime the best I can do is stay positive not only for my own well-being, but for my family, and especially my grandmother. No one should ever feel alone or unloved when they are dying. They need to know that they lived a good life.
Take a step back. You’re human. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. & you can be anything. You can be everything. Don’t hate because someone broke your heart. Or because your parents split. Or because your best friend betrayed you. Or because the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid or worthless. Cry when you want too, let go when its time. Don’t hang onto painful memories because your afraid to let go. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren’t worth remembering. Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Question things. Tell someone how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Meet new people. Make someones day. Follow your dreams. Live life to the fullest. And one day when your old, look back with no regrets.
Am I doing with myself right now? I don’t know. Phone is off. Computer is about to go off. I’m going to revel in complete silence without any interruption. I don’t NEED to know the answers right now. I just NEED to get through another day and I’ll figure the rest of this bullshit out some other time. Maybe tommorow. Maybe not. But for now - I’m zoning out.